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May 2008
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December 2008
alright today is a bad day for me. I AM SUEPR PISSED OFF NOW! LIKE REALLY FUCKING PISSED. First things first, i don't know whats with me or in me or what i'm thinking about... saw her last night on my way home after water training at LSR. Saw her with her bf though we saw each other but somehow we treated like we never knew each other at all. Memories flashed back like stright away when i walk home all the way even when i was eating and i can't fall asleep. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking. All those 2 yrs of relationship slowly go through my mind like a story book chapter by chapter... I thought i got over a month ago. But once again, i was too wrong about it. I teared but give a fucked about it? I only told mum i saw her and all she cares was about her. asking how is she... I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO IS SHE NOW. HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW. SHES NO LONGER IN MY ARMS BUT ME LOOKING AT HER IN OTHER GUY'S ARM... i hate to say it but FUCK IT MAN! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! 2yrs of fuck damn relationship could be forgotten in months... it hurts so much deeply... too much to take. i feel like giving up everything and anything. i feel so sick and tired. both physical and mentally. i wanna not care about anything. i wanna just quit everything. training was demoralising. the more i train the lesser my confidence level go down. What the fuck can i do man? CAN I JUST GIVE UP EVERYTHING? WELL, MAYBE I SHOULD. but then again is it worthwhile doing this because of a girl i loved for 2yrs even till now? am i even loving the girl that i once knew or has she changed. i don't know. on top of that this morning i somehow felt fucking pissed. SO JUST SHUT UP AND DO NOT AGRIVATE ME BECAUSE I WILL JUST BURST OF ANYTIME I SWEAR!