Today's lesson was easy pizzy and was very slack due to Ms Junie Tok's last day with us. I can't deny i hate science but still today i kinda try? HAHA Overall i think shes ok lah. Hmm.. today i'm a good good boy. HAHA went home like straight after school. I mean you know you just need to be a mama's boy at times to spent alil time at home with her and have dinner to show up. HAHA so yes, i went home and kinda slack for awhile and had my dinner. Oh btw, was supposed to join the relay with friends but nah i think its just a waste of time. I must well take the time for my self training. Tmr will be water training for me early in the morning. Hmmm can't wait man and i hope it won't rain. JUST KEEP PRAYING. So yes right now i'm listening to songs and relaxing myself in my room. This feeling to awesome i swear. Its been long i even have my time for myself. Anyway, just had a guy for canoe team who added me on msn thanking me. He said i was strict to him but he think that its all for his own good because he just joined us like 2 weeks ago and he couldn't really do pull ups push ups running and stuff la. So i would need to push him alot which is also making myself doing more then i have to just to motivate him lo. And yes i agree motivating someone is really tiring! But well, his in the team so all i have to do is to grab hold on and bare with it lo. Anyway the more i do the stronger i'll be. I am still fighting for the promise i promised someone before. I don't know if that some body still rmb it or not but yes, i am fight really really hard. At times i fight until i felt like i'm soon dying on the spot. See here i go again. Doing nothing will make me think of all this troubles i have in heart. I kept asking myself why do i always have to think of it and not let it go? I really can't somehow i really don't know why. I ask myself will that person ever think of it too? Will that person even care what my problems is? Maybe that person wouldn't even care you're alive or dead? I don't know. Because i know i'm still hanging on and i also know i will never be accepted. People look at me like i'm a fine guy who has no problems but they are wrong and if i ever agree to it, its the biggest lie i ever told. I can't let go and i cant move on. Why can't that person even try? Why does the ex-convicts could even have a second chance and i couldn't even have one. It has been months that i proved everything to that someone. But nothing had change. Each day i cared and showered that someone with love. But nothing happen. I guess you might think i'm a fool isn't it? I don't know it seems like i could die for that someone. Anyway, this is my problem when i'm alone at home not doing anything. I will think of all this. Sigh* now you know my reasons why i always keep myself busy each day by doing training and training and training. As much as i hate running i still want to because i felt the pain in me and i tried to over come. Each time i try, each time i feel better. Its just like giving all my anger out. Life isn't easy and i really wish that someone all the best. I don't know. People looked at us as couple but in real life, its miserable. Anyway, this are the picture we took today.
